Part 11: At Home with the Dungeon Master

Chapter 10: At Home with the Dungeon Master



So I'm here inside the home of Dalboz. Let's take a look outside the window.




Click here to check out the coolest castle ever.

Holy Jesus!



The Walking Castle. He sure has grown! I'm glad I started keeping him outside.

Yeah, me too.



Aw, he's gone. That guy actually seemed kind of cool.

The light's blinking on his phone. Let's check it out.



My voice mail! A message! Yes!!! Somebody remembered me! Oh...a hundred years ago.

Yeah, must suck to be you. Let's hear what they had to say about you that long ago.


Click here to see all the messages that were on the machine!
There's quite a few here, and I'm only typing out the first one, so this video is worth checking out.

Hello, this is Shona from Gurth Publishing. We're finishing up our latest edition of Glutinous Recipes of the Fat and Unemployed, and we seem to have some discrepancy over the specifications for your cocoa blend. First off, Flatheadia Fudge is illegal contraband, not to mention a tad bit hard to come by. And we can't find anyone with the guts to go near a Quelbees nest. A bar of glazed hungus lard is just disgusting. And none of us can figure out what hotbugs are! And then there's this last thing: Moss of Mareilon? You don't really expect someone to go scraping for moss, do you? Look, we appreciate your submission, but if we can't reproduce your recipe, we can't expect anyone else to.

She has no idea what she's missing. Actually, neither do I. What's she talking about?

No idea, but cocoa sounds pretty good. I might have to scrounge up some of those ingredients later. Let's look at the books around here.





Aww, the big castle is just shy! Well, I think I know of a way to make him like me more.






Click here to see me make a walking castle love me.





Here he comes!



Come here ya big guy!



I wonder if this was a good idea?



Eh, I'm sure it's fine.



At least I hope it's fine.





Alright, drawbridge is down, let's head inside!







Wow! I've never gone inside before. This is pretty gross.





I'm mainly wondering what these three floating display cases are for. Oh, and being pretty grossed out by the beating heart that's above me!





Hmmm, looks like a scroll is stuck up there.



I'll take that.



Narwille. It apparently activates time tunnels. Not the first time I've heard of these time tunnels, but I have yet to see one. And it certainly isn't going to get me cocoa any faster.



That's an interesting looking drain on the ground here.



Okay, enough of this strange as hell place. Let's get out of here.





Let's look around the room a bit more.



This is an interesting looking tree. Time to get a closer look.



It slices, it dices, yes folks, it's a combination mixer and house plant all rolled into one. I call it the Chia Processor.

Well this at least may be able to make me some cocoa. If I can just find some ingredients. If that phone message is to be believed, I need Flatheadia Fudge, something from a Quelbee's nest, glazed hungus lard, some hotbugs, and some Moss of Mareilon. I have no idea what any of that is, but I'm sure some of it must be stashed around here somewhere.



Ooh, what's that?





It's a chunk of fudge, from the remains of Flatheadia Castle. Strictly contraband, but it's some darn good fudge.

Awesome, there's one ingredient down.



Those guys look cute.





Hmmm, look at the way my little flying bugs light up. And they're hot! Can you feel it? It's like an oven in there. I call 'em Hot Bugs!

Good name, and ingredient number two I've picked up.

And next to that...





Ugh. Hungus lard. Sweet Yorrick is that stuff ripe. It mixes well though. The right ingredients can drown out the stench.

Well, let's hope my bag can also drown out the stench.





Well, looks like I was right. That tree thing is indeed a hot cocoa maker.





No new information here.





Well that dragon looks like our own Griff! Says here he's so smart he's a coward. Well, that's one way of looking at it. The other creature here looks kind of scary, but in a way that would be helpful if I could find one of them. Oh well, we'll make do with our cowardly dragon.





Well that looks like fun, and I just happen to have a snap dragon. But no giant springy mushrooms.

Looking to my left I can see door to what looks like the only other room in this house.



So let's go in there.



My room. Oh, the nights I spent in this room. Warm, cozy, secure...alone...bored...miserable...waiting for hour after slugish hour to tick by. I guess I don't miss this place all that much.



Well, life can suck. Let's find out how much it sucked for you, because I think I see a diary!















Damn, that's a lot of suicide attempts, dude. And did you really think going to Yannick was going to go well?

Looks like there's something up on the window sill here.





Hmm, looks like a torn piece of scroll.

With a backwards g on it. Well that doesn't look like it'll be much help, but I'll keep it anyway.



Let's check the closet.





Oh! How'd that get there. It's a time tunnel.

Ah ha! I finally found one...in your closet, of all places. I'll fool around with that later. First I've really got a craving for some hot cocoa, so let's take a look outside for some more ingredients.







This, I'm assuming, is a Quelbee Nest. Well, one of the ingredients is inside here, so let's cut this sucker open!







Hey! Hey, ow! Hey, ow, that really hurts! Hey...!





Right, so, let's try and find a way to distract the bees before just cutting it open like a crazy man.



Oh hey, don't I have some really smelly lard! In fact, it looks about the right size to fit in that hole.





They're not going to like that.



Whatever. They're gone, right? Now, let's take the lard back out, since we need it for the cocoa, and cut this thing open.





Well, what do we have here?





A rare and tasty Quelbee honeycomb.

Awesome, now I just need to find some moss and I'm in business. Let's look on the side of the house.





Well, I didn't find moss, but I did find one huge shroom. And you know what that means I can do?



That's right! I can put my snap dragon on it!



There we go. Now that book said all I have to do is hit it with a hammer...











Well, that was pretty fun, but I think I can make it go higher with my good friend Throck.













Alright, let's use the hammer again!







Sweet! A perfect landing on the window sill! Hey, where's he going?





Hey, he's grabbed onto something.



And he's bringing it back!



Perfecto! Now that's why people say, um, plants are...a man's best friend. Or whatever they say. I don't know any people.

Well that's a handy little snap dragon. Let's see what he's gotten us!



Sweet! The other half of the scroll! Let's see if we can put it together!



This spell's name is Snavig. In order for the scroll to be valid, The letters really ought to be facing in the right direction.

What? Well how the hell am I supposed to do that? Oh! I know, I remember seeing a mirror in the bedroom! I bet I can just hold it up to the mirror, and that will be enough! See? I'm starting to figure this place out. I'm so smart.









Here we go! I'll just hold it up to the mirror, and this will work. Dammit, I'm smart.











Hey, what's happening?!







Dammit. I know nothing.





Ah, my secret mirror room. Where I brought lusty nymphs for trysts. I mean, where I would have brought them if I had known any.



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For anyone who wants to see how all this looks in motion:
Video of everything we did this update.

That's all for now. Check back next time as we track down the last of the ingredients! And there will be cocoa!